http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=4746257
For those of you unfamiliar with Brooklyn: http://www.nycgo.com/?event=view.maps
Good memory device to remember that Brooklyn is on the downtown (south) side of Manhattan (from Rod Stewart's hit): "The downtown trains are full. Full of all them Brooklyn girls; they try so hard to break out of their little worlds."
HM
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tiger Woods -- Drug Cheat?
Of course not, the man has never done anything improper in his whole life!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
If Tiger Were Truly Sorry.....
Tiger declared recently that he was going to take an "indefinite" break from golf. Most everyone assumes that this is a load of crap and he will be back before The Masters.
http://golf.fanhouse.com/2009/12/15/bank-on-it-tiger-will-return-to-golf-sooner-than-later?icid=sphere_newsaol_inpage_fanhouse2
But ask yourself -- is Tiger truly sorry? If so, then he needs to make some grand gesture. Do something to sacrifice his own personal needs for the chance to repair his family. He wasn't going to be playing much golf before February or March anyway, so what exactly does an "indefinite" break sacrifice? A couple meaningless early season tourneys? Here is what Tiger needs to do if he is truly sorry:
1) Check into "Sex Addict" rehab. I have always believed that there is no such thing as a "sex addict." You either have the opportunity to have a lot of sex or you do not. You either exercise will power in those situations or you do not. Sex addiction is more properly categorized as a side effect of other addictions like drugs or alcohol. You get drunk, you get stoned, you want some sex.
That said, if anyone could make an argument to be a sex addict, it is Tiger. He is banging a "3 on a 10 scale" Perkins greeter in his garage as she holds on to the hood of his car, examining how clean his garage is, while his other options include not only a 9 wife, but mistresses that include 3 9s, 5 7s and 5 5s, all of whom will have sex with him if given 24 hours notice.
When you would rather have sex in 30 minutes with a hideous chick instead of waiting 24 hours for a gorgeous chick, you maybe need some help.
This will also help him at all times in the future -- "I was an addict and I did not realize it. After I got some help I turned my life around."
2) Take one year off from golf. You really are not trying hard to work on your marriage if you don't sacrifice something significant. So give up 4 majors. Then you stage a huge comeback at your charity event and tell people, "My marriage is strong now and that is far more important to me than any golf tournament." That is a lie, of course, but damn it sells well with the public.
3) Start embracing your African-American heritage. If we have learned anything from Michael Jackson/O.J. Simpson/Barry Bonds, we have learned that the African-American community will rally behind its own, no matter how terrible the conduct alleged. Tiger has always considered himself not really black and really more Asian. So does he get any support? Not so much.
When Tiger returns he should model himself on Jim Brown. Get gritty, get tough, work with former gang members, get your hands dirty. Wear that stupid hat Brown always wears. Shit, find out who Jim Brown is and meet with him.
If never hurts to have 10-12% of the public on your side no matter what you do.
HM
http://golf.fanhouse.com/2009/12/15/bank-on-it-tiger-will-return-to-golf-sooner-than-later?icid=sphere_newsaol_inpage_fanhouse2
But ask yourself -- is Tiger truly sorry? If so, then he needs to make some grand gesture. Do something to sacrifice his own personal needs for the chance to repair his family. He wasn't going to be playing much golf before February or March anyway, so what exactly does an "indefinite" break sacrifice? A couple meaningless early season tourneys? Here is what Tiger needs to do if he is truly sorry:
1) Check into "Sex Addict" rehab. I have always believed that there is no such thing as a "sex addict." You either have the opportunity to have a lot of sex or you do not. You either exercise will power in those situations or you do not. Sex addiction is more properly categorized as a side effect of other addictions like drugs or alcohol. You get drunk, you get stoned, you want some sex.
That said, if anyone could make an argument to be a sex addict, it is Tiger. He is banging a "3 on a 10 scale" Perkins greeter in his garage as she holds on to the hood of his car, examining how clean his garage is, while his other options include not only a 9 wife, but mistresses that include 3 9s, 5 7s and 5 5s, all of whom will have sex with him if given 24 hours notice.
When you would rather have sex in 30 minutes with a hideous chick instead of waiting 24 hours for a gorgeous chick, you maybe need some help.
This will also help him at all times in the future -- "I was an addict and I did not realize it. After I got some help I turned my life around."
2) Take one year off from golf. You really are not trying hard to work on your marriage if you don't sacrifice something significant. So give up 4 majors. Then you stage a huge comeback at your charity event and tell people, "My marriage is strong now and that is far more important to me than any golf tournament." That is a lie, of course, but damn it sells well with the public.
3) Start embracing your African-American heritage. If we have learned anything from Michael Jackson/O.J. Simpson/Barry Bonds, we have learned that the African-American community will rally behind its own, no matter how terrible the conduct alleged. Tiger has always considered himself not really black and really more Asian. So does he get any support? Not so much.
When Tiger returns he should model himself on Jim Brown. Get gritty, get tough, work with former gang members, get your hands dirty. Wear that stupid hat Brown always wears. Shit, find out who Jim Brown is and meet with him.
If never hurts to have 10-12% of the public on your side no matter what you do.
HM
Perhaps He Should Have Chosen the Priesthood?
http://www.abajournal.com/news/article/lawyer_in_line_to_be_state_bar_prez_is_jailed_in_teen_sex_case/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=ABA+Journal+Daily+News
My lord. Not to go all Nancy Grace on you here, but it is incidents like this that make me wonder why we don't have the death penalty for offenses of this sort.
And one side note -- not that pedophiles think clearly, but if you have just got a child drunk and sodomized them, it is UNLIKELY that they actually want you to text and call them and describe in great detail the horrific acts you have just performed on them. MAYBE you are being set up?? As an attorney, at least don't be such a dumb ass. I guess that is something for him to think about as he is burning in hell.
My lord. Not to go all Nancy Grace on you here, but it is incidents like this that make me wonder why we don't have the death penalty for offenses of this sort.
And one side note -- not that pedophiles think clearly, but if you have just got a child drunk and sodomized them, it is UNLIKELY that they actually want you to text and call them and describe in great detail the horrific acts you have just performed on them. MAYBE you are being set up?? As an attorney, at least don't be such a dumb ass. I guess that is something for him to think about as he is burning in hell.
More Tiger
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2765656/Shamed-golfer-Tiger-Woods-alleged-to-have-lost-a-tooth-in-row.html
Hey, I am going to Newport Beach! Maybe I can ask Tiger if I can stay at his house for the week????
Hey, I am going to Newport Beach! Maybe I can ask Tiger if I can stay at his house for the week????
Monday, December 14, 2009
Michael Steele Pics -- Um, Wow.
Part Michael Scott, part Stepin Fetchit, part Jar Jar Binks. How proud the GOP must be of its party chairman....
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/gallery/2009/12/best-boss-ever-michael-steele-the-rnc-interns.php?img=1
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/gallery/2009/12/best-boss-ever-michael-steele-the-rnc-interns.php?img=1
Tyrell Johnson Injury Allows Vikes to Play Only One Man Short
"Safety" Tyrell Johnson was out against Cincinnati on Sunday with a concussion, allowing rookie Jamarca Sanford to take his spot.
So rather than playing 9 against 11 as the Vikes generally do (Madieu Williams serving as the other traffic cone on defense), the Vikes were able to plug in an actual football player to attempt to make tackles against the Bengals.
In 12 games this year, Tyrell Johnson has not only played absolutely no pass defense (1 pick and 5 passes defensed), but he has also had the following tackling breakdowns:
2 tackles -- one game
3 tackles -- five games
4 tackles -- 1
5 tackles - 3 times
6 tackles -- twice (both against the Lions)
What did his rookie backup 7th round pick do in his first ever start? 6 tackles. Equaling Johnson's best ever effort for 2009.
So rather than playing 9 against 11 as the Vikes generally do (Madieu Williams serving as the other traffic cone on defense), the Vikes were able to plug in an actual football player to attempt to make tackles against the Bengals.
In 12 games this year, Tyrell Johnson has not only played absolutely no pass defense (1 pick and 5 passes defensed), but he has also had the following tackling breakdowns:
2 tackles -- one game
3 tackles -- five games
4 tackles -- 1
5 tackles - 3 times
6 tackles -- twice (both against the Lions)
What did his rookie backup 7th round pick do in his first ever start? 6 tackles. Equaling Johnson's best ever effort for 2009.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Movie Review -- "Adventureland"
I watched Adventureland late last night because it has received so much critical acclaim as a great indie film.
The actors do a great job (including Ryan Reynolds as a poser-douche and Kristen Stewart as her typical role as the "oh God I am just SOOOOOOOO depressed I cannot stand it; wanna make out and/or have sex" girl).
And I appreciate the one-hit wonder soundtrack (Falco, Mary Jane Girls, Expose) from the 1980s and the fact that the movie is set in 1987.
But I think the biggest problem I have with the movie is that it was written as an ode to a Long Island amusement park experience and then set in Pittsburgh. This was apparently done because there were only 2 parks they could find which had not been upgraded since 1987, and one was in Pittsburgh.
But the movie didn't say "Pittsburgh" to me. There is a clash involving a Catholic girl and a Jewish boy. Happen on Long Island? All of the time. Big issue in 1987 Pittsburgh? Um, no. Kid uses his high end family connections to get into Harvard Business School? Same kid has a family apartment set up in NYC? Again, very likely on Long Island. Not at all likely in Pittsburgh. Guy runs around punching his best friend in the balls -- would get you killed or institutionalized in Pittsburgh.
Even small odes to the city fail. A guy shows up out of nowhere wearing a brand new Jack Lambert jersey. It is 1987. No person in Pittsburgh in 1987 had a never-used Jack Lambert jersey, and if they did they would not wear it to a carnival.
Putting aside this obvious mismatch, the movie is well acted and it captures the essence of painful teenage love and hate very well. But again, the movie is a big contradiction -- its main characters are 22+ and do nothing but drink and smoke pot all movie, but a number are virgins? The main guy hangs out for 4 years at Oberlin College and does nothing but drink and get stoned and he has NO woman who will have sex with him while she is drunk or stoned? Same for the super hot "Lisa P." She arouses men of all ages, and she is regularly extremely drunk or stoned, yet no man has ever found a way to have sex with this mid-20s girl???? And I am supposed to believe that?
Anyway, certainly worth a rental, but if certain movies are over-analyzed and over-tested, this one was just thrown out there with not nearly enough thought.
7 out of 10.
The actors do a great job (including Ryan Reynolds as a poser-douche and Kristen Stewart as her typical role as the "oh God I am just SOOOOOOOO depressed I cannot stand it; wanna make out and/or have sex" girl).
And I appreciate the one-hit wonder soundtrack (Falco, Mary Jane Girls, Expose) from the 1980s and the fact that the movie is set in 1987.
But I think the biggest problem I have with the movie is that it was written as an ode to a Long Island amusement park experience and then set in Pittsburgh. This was apparently done because there were only 2 parks they could find which had not been upgraded since 1987, and one was in Pittsburgh.
But the movie didn't say "Pittsburgh" to me. There is a clash involving a Catholic girl and a Jewish boy. Happen on Long Island? All of the time. Big issue in 1987 Pittsburgh? Um, no. Kid uses his high end family connections to get into Harvard Business School? Same kid has a family apartment set up in NYC? Again, very likely on Long Island. Not at all likely in Pittsburgh. Guy runs around punching his best friend in the balls -- would get you killed or institutionalized in Pittsburgh.
Even small odes to the city fail. A guy shows up out of nowhere wearing a brand new Jack Lambert jersey. It is 1987. No person in Pittsburgh in 1987 had a never-used Jack Lambert jersey, and if they did they would not wear it to a carnival.
Putting aside this obvious mismatch, the movie is well acted and it captures the essence of painful teenage love and hate very well. But again, the movie is a big contradiction -- its main characters are 22+ and do nothing but drink and smoke pot all movie, but a number are virgins? The main guy hangs out for 4 years at Oberlin College and does nothing but drink and get stoned and he has NO woman who will have sex with him while she is drunk or stoned? Same for the super hot "Lisa P." She arouses men of all ages, and she is regularly extremely drunk or stoned, yet no man has ever found a way to have sex with this mid-20s girl???? And I am supposed to believe that?
Anyway, certainly worth a rental, but if certain movies are over-analyzed and over-tested, this one was just thrown out there with not nearly enough thought.
7 out of 10.
Two Teachers, One Janitor
http://www.parentdish.com/2009/12/09/female-teachers-caught-nude-together-in-brooklyn-hs-classroom/?icid=mainhtmlws-main-ndl3link6http%3A%2F%2Fwww.parentdish.com%2F2009%2F12%2F09%2Ffemale-teachers-caught-nude-together-in-brooklyn-hs-classroom%2F
I have to tell you, not that I generally endorse blackmail.....but come on, Mr. Janitor!!!!!!!!! You catch two hot female teachers naked, doing each other in school and you........report them to the principal!?!?!??!? Have you never heard the term "boomchicka-wow-a"? The one is even married to a guy, so she has no per se objection to, ya know.........
I guess the guy just hasn't watched enough Andy Sedaris movies to figure out the proper course of action.
I have to tell you, not that I generally endorse blackmail.....but come on, Mr. Janitor!!!!!!!!! You catch two hot female teachers naked, doing each other in school and you........report them to the principal!?!?!??!? Have you never heard the term "boomchicka-wow-a"? The one is even married to a guy, so she has no per se objection to, ya know.........
I guess the guy just hasn't watched enough Andy Sedaris movies to figure out the proper course of action.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Tiger Affair Disclosed Way Back in May
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=cec2cdd2-0c32-4ac2-97f9-fa0ebb209102&isShareURL=true
Holly Sampson moves way up in the rankings with this appearance.
Holly Sampson moves way up in the rankings with this appearance.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Hulk Hogan Engaged
One is his daughter, the other is his fiancee. I hope Hulk has good eyesight, because if they were sitting down it would be tough to tell them apart.
Hopefully Hulk isn't in to asking, "who is your daddy?" Ewwwww....
Monday, December 07, 2009
For teams Who Want a Slightly Better Chris Simms
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/draft10/news/story?id=4721703
I could have thrown 18 TDs to Michael Floyd and Golden Tate and that 6'6" tight end, so he is a little better than I.
I could have thrown 18 TDs to Michael Floyd and Golden Tate and that 6'6" tight end, so he is a little better than I.
Some Interesting Tiger Woods Facts
http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/news/631528/Tiger-had-me-in-the-rough-Mindy-Lawtons-frantic-sex-with-Tiger-Woods.html
I give the Perkins waitress some credit -- she doesn't pretend that he loves/loved her. He would call her, do the bejesus out of her and then drop her off wherever they met. When she is getting done in Tiger's garage, she takes the time to notice how clean it is.
Some Tiger Points:
likes Bailey's on ice.
watches baseball
eats a sickeningly healthy breakfast.
I give the Perkins waitress some credit -- she doesn't pretend that he loves/loved her. He would call her, do the bejesus out of her and then drop her off wherever they met. When she is getting done in Tiger's garage, she takes the time to notice how clean it is.
Some Tiger Points:
likes Bailey's on ice.
watches baseball
eats a sickeningly healthy breakfast.
Rank Tiger's December 7 Known Mistresses (Pearl Harbor Day Edition)......And His Wife
Rank the ladies in appearance (I know, do the best you can based upon what you have here) from best to worst.
HM Rating Scale For Women:
1= truly awful, awful hideous, would murder myself before having relations with her;
25= if she was the last one in the bar at last call, I'd buy a magazine;
50= I am not proud of it, but yeah, I have made out with worse;
75= I'd be proud to date her;
100= if she appeared even moderately interested in having sex with me, I would ask her out right in front of my spouse or significant other.
Names:
Jamie Jungers -- blonde in black touching her hair
Mindy Lawton -- dark hair in red
Cori Rist -- giant face pic with blonde hair
Holly Sampson -- blonde in blue
Jamie Grubbs -- blonde in gray
Kalika Moquin -- white tank top on magazine
Rachel Uchitel -- pouty lips and shades
Elin Woods -- with Tiger in pic.
My rankings based upon my current knowledge and published pics:
Elin (94), Kalika(90), Uchitel (82), Sampson (81), Jungers (77), Rist (64), Grubbs (50), Lawton (34).
AIG Execs -- We Quit (Kinda, Maybe)
http://www.dailyfinance.com/2009/12/07/aig-execs-threaten-to-quit-if-pay-is-cut/
I know that when Wall Street went kaput in 2008 that hundreds or thousands of people in the financial services industry lost their jobs. Are NONE of these people capable of being hired and doing a mediocre job of running a company for $500K a year? I would figure that there are at least 1,000 of the tens of thousands laid off who will take the $500K and not complain one iota.
I know that when Wall Street went kaput in 2008 that hundreds or thousands of people in the financial services industry lost their jobs. Are NONE of these people capable of being hired and doing a mediocre job of running a company for $500K a year? I would figure that there are at least 1,000 of the tens of thousands laid off who will take the $500K and not complain one iota.
NBA Free Agents
The Timberwolves supposedly hope to improve their team by hitting the free agent market next summer.
Now, there is no chance in hell they land LeBron James or Dwyane Wade or Chris Bosh. So where exactly does that leave them in the free agent market?
Per a July 2009 Report:
Joe Johnson
Ray Allen
Manu Ginobili
Marcus Camby
Tracey McGrady
Shaquille O'Neal
Brad Miller
Jermaine O'Neal
Mike Miller
Rip Hamilton
The next grouping is those players that are signed thru 2011, but can opt out in 2010 if they so choose:
Yao Ming (owed 17.7 million in 10/11)
Amare Stoudamire (owed 17.7 million in 10/11)
Dirk Nowitzki (owed $21.5 million in 10/11)
Josh Howard (owed $11.8 million in 10/11)
Michael Redd (owed $18.3 million in 10/11)
Tyson Chandler (owed $12.8 million in 10/11)
OK, so hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... I guess you draft Derrick Favors to fill in your unbelievably unathletic front court and then try to sign?????????? Either you go cheap with Ray Allen (100 years old) or Rip Hamilton (90) or you look at Camby as a shot blocker (though he is 70).
The one real possibility for spending your money? Joe Johnson.
At the start of next year, Joe will be 29. He has actually had the experience of going to a young sucky team and turning it around. He has also been a good player on a good playoff team (twice, Phoenix and Hawks). If you sign him to a 5 year deal, he will be basically done as a player at the end, but if you are the Wolves you really cannot worry about that.
Johnson -- good ballhandler, good defender, great at end of games. And most importantly -- a huge minutes eater. When you suck as a team, you struggle to fill 240 productive minutes. The Wolves currently get 20 from Flynn, 10 from Sessions, 20 from Jefferson and now 20 from Love.
70 productive minutes. Yuck. Then you need to fill in 5 from Brewer, 5 from Ellington and 15 from Damien Wilkins. Now you are up to 100.
Johnson gives you 40 productive minutes a night. Add a top 5 draft pick (Derrick Favors) for 30, get Love and Al and Flynn up to 30 and now you have:
Flynn -- 30
Johnson -- 40
Al -- 30
Love -- 30
Favors -- 30
Throw in the 40 you already have otherwise and you are at 200. Still not a championship team, but at least you are on the way to the playoffs maybe.
Now, there is no chance in hell they land LeBron James or Dwyane Wade or Chris Bosh. So where exactly does that leave them in the free agent market?
Per a July 2009 Report:
Joe Johnson
Ray Allen
Manu Ginobili
Marcus Camby
Tracey McGrady
Shaquille O'Neal
Brad Miller
Jermaine O'Neal
Mike Miller
Rip Hamilton
The next grouping is those players that are signed thru 2011, but can opt out in 2010 if they so choose:
Yao Ming (owed 17.7 million in 10/11)
Amare Stoudamire (owed 17.7 million in 10/11)
Dirk Nowitzki (owed $21.5 million in 10/11)
Josh Howard (owed $11.8 million in 10/11)
Michael Redd (owed $18.3 million in 10/11)
Tyson Chandler (owed $12.8 million in 10/11)
OK, so hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... I guess you draft Derrick Favors to fill in your unbelievably unathletic front court and then try to sign?????????? Either you go cheap with Ray Allen (100 years old) or Rip Hamilton (90) or you look at Camby as a shot blocker (though he is 70).
The one real possibility for spending your money? Joe Johnson.
At the start of next year, Joe will be 29. He has actually had the experience of going to a young sucky team and turning it around. He has also been a good player on a good playoff team (twice, Phoenix and Hawks). If you sign him to a 5 year deal, he will be basically done as a player at the end, but if you are the Wolves you really cannot worry about that.
Johnson -- good ballhandler, good defender, great at end of games. And most importantly -- a huge minutes eater. When you suck as a team, you struggle to fill 240 productive minutes. The Wolves currently get 20 from Flynn, 10 from Sessions, 20 from Jefferson and now 20 from Love.
70 productive minutes. Yuck. Then you need to fill in 5 from Brewer, 5 from Ellington and 15 from Damien Wilkins. Now you are up to 100.
Johnson gives you 40 productive minutes a night. Add a top 5 draft pick (Derrick Favors) for 30, get Love and Al and Flynn up to 30 and now you have:
Flynn -- 30
Johnson -- 40
Al -- 30
Love -- 30
Favors -- 30
Throw in the 40 you already have otherwise and you are at 200. Still not a championship team, but at least you are on the way to the playoffs maybe.
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